“Let’s go canoeing,” they said.

“It will be fun!” they said.

The idea was to go down the Illinois River in the great state of Oklahoma. This river is a tributary of the Arkansas River and is 145 miles (233 km) long. Its name was a term a French explorer used to describe several Native American Indian tribes that had similar languages and cultures found in the Illinois area (thank you, Wikipedia).

Having difficulty reading this? Go to the adapted version!

I had been canoeing before, but on a lake. Canoeing on a river seemed so exciting! This is what I thought it would be like:

What did I see? Something more like this:

Okay, so maybe that’s a bit of an exaggeration, but it’s not far from the truth! Before we talk about the canoeing part, first we need to discuss the accommodations.

My dad had been given the name of a place for my family to stay while on our canoeing adventure. It was supposed to be a nice little cabin at a local campsite, equipped with a bathroom and kitchen. What could possibly go wrong?

First of all, to go canoeing down the Illinois River, we needed to drive up to Tahlequah, in the northeast part of Oklahoma. It’s not that far away, only three hours. But! After driving there with my two older sisters and my parents, we were ready to settle in to our cabin, eat some dinner, take our showers, and go to bed. We had a long day ahead of us, because we were going canoeing!

When we finally arrived at the cabin, we were really surprised. It looked like we were going to have a bigger adventure than we anticipated! Could this really be the place that we were supposed to stay? The description did not match what we were seeing.

The cabin was filthy! The shower was so disgusting that we kept our shoes on to make sure we didn’t touch any of the grime on the bottom of the shower. Can you imagine? And then to top it off, we had to sleep in the cabin with 5,000 bugs.

Okay, maybe there weren’t THAT many bugs (that we could see), but there were bugs everywhere! I’m not afraid of a few bugs. I had gone camping before and the idea that I was sleeping with bugs in the proximity didn’t bother me. However in a cabin, it was a different story! We had the impression that there were more bugs inside than outside.

When my mom tucked us into bed, she literally tucked the blanket under our body. But she didn’t stop there!

She also pulled the blanket over our head and tucked it under the blanket as well. I imagine we looked like a bunch of cadavres!

Let’s just say that no one slept really well that night. I know I was very concerned about becoming a smörgasbord for the bugs. Basically, we were all exhausted when we woke up. 

The next day we climbed into our canoes. This was back in the day when the paddles were made out of wood and the canoes were metal, not plastic. All of the equipment was much heavier than it is today.

My two sisters had their own canoe. I shared a canoe with my parents. I don’t think I was old enough or strong enough to contribute. So, I was lucky enough to sit back, relax, and enjoy the views. 

Luckily, it doesn’t take much effort to go down the Illinois River. There are no rapids. To have rapids, you need some elevation change. Elevation change is not something that really exists in Oklahoma!

Going down the Illinois River is considered a “float” trip because you basically just float down the river. Well, assuming there is enough water!

The river is fairly wide, but not so wide that it takes more than a few minutes to go from one side to the other. After a while, it became more and more narrow and the water level went down more and more. 

A moment came when we had to get out of the canoe to push the canoe through the mud and over rocks. This was not what I thought it would be like!

After several hours in the hot sun, we were all exhausted from a long night and an even longer day. One thing was for sure, we were all happy to go home and sleep in our own beds!

Fortunately, this was not my only trip down the Illinois River in Oklahoma. Years later I went down a few more times under much better conditions. And the cabin? You couldn’t pay me to sleep there again. I prefer sleeping in a tent!

Adapted Version

My Illinois River Canoeing Catastrophe

In parenthesis () there are explanations of words and phrases. These explanations are in italics.

“Let’s go canoeing,” they said.

“It will be fun!” they said.

The idea was to go down the Illinois River in the great state of Oklahoma. This river is a tributary of (leads into) the Arkansas River and is 145 miles (233 km) long. Its name was a term a French explorer used to describe several Native American Indian tribes that had similar languages and cultures found in the Illinois area (thank you, Wikipedia).

I had been canoeing before, but on a lake. Canoeing on a river seemed so exciting! This is what I thought it would be like:

What did I see? Something more like this:

Okay, so maybe that’s a bit of an exaggeration (not quite the truth), but it’s not far from the truth! Before we talk about the canoeing part, first we need to discuss the accommodations (where we stayed the night).

My dad had been given the name of a place for my family to stay while on our canoeing adventure. It was supposed to be a nice little cabin at a local campsite, equipped with a bathroom and kitchen. What could possibly go wrong (be a problem)?

First of all, to go canoeing down the Illinois River, we needed to drive up to Tahlequah, in the northeast part of Oklahoma. It’s not that far away, only three hours. But! After driving there with my two older sisters and my parents, we were ready to settle in to our cabin, eat some dinner, take our showers, and go to bed. We had a long day ahead of us (tomorrow), because we were going canoeing!

When we finally arrived at the cabin, we were really surprised. It looked like we were going to have a bigger adventure than we anticipated (thought we would have)! Could this really be the place that we were supposed to stay (going to stay the night)? The description did not match (was not the same as) what we were seeing.

The cabin was filthy (really dirty)! The shower was so disgusting (dirty) that we kept our shoes on (did not take off our shoes) to make sure we didn’t touch any of the grime (slippery substance) on the bottom of the shower. Can you imagine? And then to top it off (to make it worse), we had to sleep in the cabin with 5,000 bugs (insects).

Okay, maybe there weren’t THAT many bugs (that we could see), but there were bugs everywhere! I’m not afraid of a few bugs. I had gone camping before and the idea that I was sleeping with bugs in the proximity (immediate area) didn’t bother me (did not upset me). However in a cabin, it was a different story (not the same story)! We had the impression (we believed) that there were more bugs inside than outside.

When my mom tucked us into bed, she literally tucked the blanket (made a cocoon) under our body. But she didn’t stop there!

She also pulled the blanket over our head and tucked it under the blanket as well (our head was covered, too). I imagine we looked like a bunch of cadavres (dead bodies covered by blankets)!

Let’s just say that no one slept really well that night. I know I was very concerned about becoming a smörgasbord (buffet) for the bugs. Basically, we were all exhausted (extremely tired) when we woke up. 

The next day we climbed (went) into our canoes. This was back in the day (at the time) when the paddles (objects used to propel the canoe forward) were made out of wood and the canoes were metal, not plastic. All of the equipment was much heavier than it is today.

My two sisters had their own canoe. I shared a canoe with my parents. I don’t think I was old enough or strong enough to contribute. So, I was lucky enough to sit back, relax, and enjoy the views. 

Luckily, it doesn’t take much effort to go down the Illinois River. There are no rapids (big water current/movement with rocks). To have rapids, you need some elevation change (a difference in elevation). Elevation change is not something that really exists in Oklahoma!

Going down the Illinois River is considered a “float” trip because you basically just float (opposite of sink or go underwater) down the river. Well, assuming there is enough water!

The river is fairly wide (distance from side to side), but not so wide that it takes more than a few minutes to go from one side to the other. After a while, it became more and more narrow (opposite of wide) and the water level went down (decreased) more and more. 

A moment came when we had to get out of the canoe to push the canoe through the mud (wet dirt) and over rocks. This was not what I thought it would be like!

After several hours in the hot sun, we were all exhausted from a long night and an even longer day. One thing was for sure (certain), we were all happy to go home and sleep in our own beds!

Fortunately (Luckily), this was not my only trip (voyage) down the Illinois River in Oklahoma. Years later I went down a few (two or three) more times under much better conditions. And the cabin? You couldn’t pay me (give me money) to sleep there again. I prefer sleeping in a tent!

This blog was updated November 5, 2019 to include an audio version.